Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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