He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
