i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
