I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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