I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
