East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
