I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm both gender and math confused
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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