plz talk dirty to me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think your dad took our porno
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
