Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
