sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
