reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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