Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
