There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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