I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
