Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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