i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
