capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
