i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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