we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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