Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
