honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
