guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
