I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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