We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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