I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Princesses don't give blow jobs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
