So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
