She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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