yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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