I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
