Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
