$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We left an ass print on the piano.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
