Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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