Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
