Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
