dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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