I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
