I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
