do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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