please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
