He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
