I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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