yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i think im in europe. pls send help
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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