I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
