so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
