I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
