If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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