apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
