some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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