It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
