In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
