$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
