So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
